she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
