I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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