If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
