I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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