if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
