Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
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