i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I cannot find my penis.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
