I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
