at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
