were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
