yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
