Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
