I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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