Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I had to cum in my sink.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
