Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
