yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize