Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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