Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
