just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
