And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
