The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Don't you send me to vm
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
