he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
