So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize