So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
