I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
