I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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