He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
