I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize