What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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