Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
the day after is always just damage control
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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