All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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