good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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