I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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