Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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