Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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