I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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