Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize