they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Life is so much better after having sex.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
