I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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