Is it normal to miss your booty call?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
