i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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