His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize