eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
