he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
