STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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