i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
