Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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