next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
That accounts for only three of the penises
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize