You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
