I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
