I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
