In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
