the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
no you cant smoke seaweed
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
