I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Randomize
