honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
