he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Randomize
