What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
