She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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